My Monstrosity of a Life: A Twilight Story
by moosehead1027
Summary: Bella encounters some wierd creatures when she moves to Forks, and I'm not talking about werewolves and vampires.
1. Is He Gay?

Bella's POV

It was a scorching hot day in Phoenix. I was saying my last farewells to the blistering sun and rigid mountain line, if you could even call them mountains. I was soon to join life in the claustrophobic, depressing town of Forks, where, my dad, Charlie lives. That was something I was _not_ looking forward to. _This ought to be fun_ was all I could think when the idea came up. It was nice, though. Charlie bought me a car, to my relief. It was a faded red, had a spherical cab and old Chevy truck. He had also enrolled me in Forks High School. I met lots of nice people…and one not so nice. Mike, Eric, Ben, Angela, Jessica, and Tyler greeted me as if we were old friends. However, Lauren was very obstinate. Besides her, I was, sort of, well adjusted. But every time it rained, I missed the sun.

My first day at lunch, five people walked—danced would've been a better word—into the cafeteria. The first pair that walked in were stunning, like the rest. The girl had gorgeous blonde hair and a striking face that made every girl jealous. The boy, if you could even call him that, was big and brawny. His hair was curly and dark brown. The next two were just as blatantly beautiful as the rest. This girl was short and, like the first boy, had dark hair except hers was short and stood out in each direction. Her significant other was tall and lanky yet still muscular like his brother, I assumed, at the same time. He had dirty blonde, chin length hair. The last to walk through was alone. However, his appearance was godlike. His hair was bronze-colored and he was fairly tall. He too was muscular. I wondered why he was alone. With his rugged good looks you'd think _someone_ would've snagged him already. I guessed that they were all related because they all had the same sharp features: immensely pale, dark eyes, and purple bruise-like marks under their eyes. They all looked different and yet so similar at the same time. They all approached a table across the room, except for the bronze-haired one. He approached me. "Hey, I'm Edward," he said coolly.

"Er…Bella," Oh great, that went well, note the sarcasm.

"Are you new? Me and my family saw you and we didn't recognize you, so I decided to introduce myself."

"Yeah, it's my first day."

"Cool. Umm….. Well I better get back."

"Umm…. Yeah. Nice to meet you."

"You too," Then he left to find the rest of his family. He could easily be the finest guy at this school. And his being available made it a plus. When he got back I could've sworn I heard the blonde girl tell him, "What was that about? Don't get involved with humans it's not good," but it could've just been me. After lunch was Biology. When I walked in I went to the only empty seat next to, none other than, Edward. He was easy to talk to, that is, until he ignored me. I was completely caught off guard. Day by day passed and nothing was said. Then one day I was greeted by, "Hey Bella!"

"Oh, so you're talking to me again?"

"Well, it's nothing personal. I just don't think this is normal. You know, me being friends with you."

"How so?"

"It's complicated."

"Of course it is." Then class started. He sent me a note about five minutes into class.

Bella, after class I'll show you what I'm talking about.—E

I don't know what to expect. Is he gay? Does he have a long-distance girlfriend who is over protective? What is it?

After class I met him on the football field. He led me into the forest near the lake.

"Okay. I have something to show you," he hesitantly said.

"Yeah, what is it?"Then he jumped into the lake. A slur of reactions crossed my face. His head popped out after a couple minutes. "What are you doing?" I called. Then a huge fishtail popped out. Right then, shock crossed my face.

"What are you thinking?"he asked.

"You're a _fish_?"I asked, astonished.

"No, I'm a merman."

"A _fish_?" This was definitely not what I'd expected when I came to Forks.


	2. How Do You Make A Mermaid?

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters. I also do not own Walmart. Claimer: I own Eddy-Poo-Poo the First so don't use him because then you would be a jocker and he and I would be offended.

Bella's POV

"Awww…but you're so hot. Why did you have to be a fish?" I said

"_Merman, _get that through your head," Edward replied.

"Fine, _merman_, but can I 'Edwardo the Super Fish'?"(A/N . thanks for the help! :D)

"No."

"What about Eddy-kins?"

"No."

"What about Eddy-Poo-Poo the Second?"

"The 'second'?"

"That's my teddy bear's name!"

"Wow, your life is messed up."

"Hey, don't knock him till you meet him. He's really soft."

"Does he come with his own clothes?"

"Yes. Duuh." Don't _all_ teddy bears'?

"Can I meet him sometime?"

"Sure, just wipe your fins before you come in."

"Not funny."

"No, I'm serious."

"Why?"

"Charlie is allergic to mermaids."

"I'm a mer_man_."

"Same difference!"

"Wait, shouldn't he be allergic to fish?"

"No, he goes fishing every weekend."

"But aren't they the same?"

"Ha! You admit it you are a fish. And actually no, doesn't _everyone_ know that. Duh! Mermaids are prettier!"

"Ummm…okay?"

"So…. Are the rest of your family mermaids?"

"Yes."

"How do you make a mermaid?"

"It's really cool. You go to the specialist, most secret store ever called Walmart and buy a mermaid kit. Then you add water and watch it grow."

"Wow. Really?"

"Yup." He sounded pleased with himself.

"That's pathetic." I know this is weird but I think I'm starting to like him. I'll just see what happens. Sink or swim. Haha. Ironic.


	3. Dammit!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. I also do not own Walmart, Volvo, or Hannah Montana. Claimer: I own Eddy-Poo-Poo the First because that is my teddy bear's name so don't use that name because then you would be a jocker and you would offend him and I.

Bella's POV

Let's see where this conversation goes. Maybe he likes me too. But then again, maybe not. "No, having a teddy bear named after _me_ is pathetic," he said defensively.

"It's not named after you!" God, a little egoistical don't you think.

"When did you name it?"

"Last week."

"I prove my point."

"Psssh…..whatever. Do you want to meet him or not?"

"Fine. Let me just clean myself up."Then he jumped out of the water and the tail disappeared almost instantaneously and his clothes were back on. But not before I could see his bare chest. He saw me staring and said, "Oh, you like my abs?"

"Um….yeah."

"Just wait till you see me in the sun."

"Why?"

"I'll show you." Then he picked me up and we ran to the top of the mountain, near a shallow river. He stood in the sun and he sparkled like he had a million diamonds implanted in his skin.

"Your…your skin. It's like a tiara!" I exclaimed.

"Wow. I was right your life _is_ messed up." I just stared in amazement. Then he picked me up again and he ran to the parking lot. He's quite a fast runner. He took me to his car which was a small, yet still fast, Volvo. "But, what about my truck!" I said.

"Oh, it's fine. I'll have Alice meet us at your house," he said calmly.

" My _house_?"

"Sure, I want to meet that teddy bear of yours." Then all of a sudden, we were at my house. I unlocked and opened the door and he went up to my room.

"How did you know where my room was?" I asked cautiously.

"Well….every night I sort of come and swim in your bathtub."

"You _what_? Charlie is allergic to mermaids, remember!"

"Oh, yeah. I didn't know then. Sorry."

"You _better_ be sorry. It's very serious. He gets the 'cold, sweats, and shakes'!"

"Umm…isn't that from Hannah Montana?"

"No, they stole it from us. Those stupid people. I mean really _Hannah Montana Forever_? Who would want her _forever_? That's just plain stupid."

" Why are you ranting about Hannah Montana when Charlie could be in trouble?"

"Hmmm…I don't know."

"Oh well. Ummm…I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Well…would you really want a merman boyfriend?"

" Yes. I think your perfect in every single way." Wow that was cheesy.

" Well…that sucks."

"Why?"

"I kind of, sort of, had a thing for Angela Weber." Dammit. So _now_ he was a fish _and_ he didn't like me. Hmmmmmm….well, I guess I'll just have to…well….as I said before, play it out. Sink or swim, aah the irony.

"Well…what if—"he started to say but I stopped him. I kissed him. He was startled and pushed me back."Bella, what are you doing? I told you! I have a thing for Angela!" Oh _god_! He wasn't kidding. Well…..this sucks.


End file.
